Are you able to lie, even though you have Aspergers?

And like all humans, including the vast majority of autists, I do a lot of lying.

Cognitive dissonance is incredibly uncomfortable for me. If I don’t feel like I’m doing the right thing, it shows. The only times I can lie convincingly, verbally or physically, is when it feels morally and ethically correct to lie. While performing in a play, for example. Or while comforting people with dementia.

When I lie, I’m not very convincing. No one ever looked at my masking and thought, “Now, that’s a normal person! Why, I’d like to have a drink with that woman. She seems just like me.” Similarly, when I speak untruths, I doubt most believe me.

How has your life changed for the past 10 years? Can you share your #10year challenge? Is your life better, worse, or still hopeful?

Nuda Veritas by Gustav Klimt. Public domain.

Because these settings don’t produce dissonance, I can lie fairly convincingly in these settings. It’s my conscience and my commitment to my own ideals that holds me back.

Less than I used to, sure. When I considered it an inviolable obligation to mask, I lied constantly. I didn’t often lie with my words, but I implied facts that were untrue with every breath and movement. I was too terrified of the abuse that might result if I didn’t. Telling the truth was too dangerous.

Ok, so this is a question seeking an answer to clear up whatever gymnastics are in my head. I'm a moderately attractive guy, sincere heart, genuinely looking to love another, established. Why don't women that I'm attracted to, want me back?

Yes.